Unlike last year (when I resolved not to improve myself), this year I decided to upgrade myself into Carrie 2.0. (And because my technological knowledge is as outdated as acid washed Jordache jeans, I'm not sure that reference is even still relevant...perhaps I need to add "become computer geek" to the list...). By upgrade, I mean that I've made the following promises to the year 2009 (and I decided to go ahead and phrase them as I would commandments so I may feel guilted into keeping them--the "thou shalt not" is exactly why I haven't resorted to murdering whoever took my coke out of the fridge at work):
In all honesty, I made this resolution last year. I had decided it was time to finally balance my checkbook since it hadn't been done since the teller wrote the first deposit into my ledger FOR ME. When I got bored with that attempt (and a lousy one it was), *that* is when I edited that resolution to: "love yourself the way you are, Carrie". And while I must admit that going through life relatively unworried about one's finances seems like a blissful way to be, it is not very blissful to feel like you're playing Russian Roulette with NSF charges anytime you feel like heading down to Target to treat yourself. I would love to blame the flailing economy on my financial woes, but I was a mess long before any bailouts were being discussed. Under my new law: when I'm out of money, I tell myself that if I want a treat, I have to go to Wal-Mart to get it. I then tell myself that NOT going to Wal-Mart IS the treat, and I save money! Maybe avoiding W-M (aka "Hell") and saving my cash and dignity will be on next year's list...
I digress...in my effort to become more organized, I've purchased a new planner to which I have already developed a deep attachment. Shopping for/finding this accessory that would accompany me throughout my year is why I'm late on actually fulfilling my resolution. It had to be juuuust right, and it is! But now I worry about what I should put in it...and I've come up with cute little codes (which I have a hard time deciphering) just in case some stranger picks it up (I don't need Random Stranger #1 knowing when my next period is going to be, thank you very much; although to be fair, I'm sure there's nothing in there I wouldn't freely share after one or two margaritas...) So now that I'm armed with my new planner and a solid resolve to use it properly, I cannot be stopped!
2. Thou shalt try to be less stressed.
I even put the word "try" in there because my first resolution is stressing the hell out of me already and it's only Jan. 6...
3. Thou shalt let thine loved ones know how much they mean to you (thou?).
Having spent Christmas Eve of 2008 in the hospital waiting on my mom's cancer surgery, I now have a need to let everyone around me know that they are special to me. Even if this means picking on them more than usual (which is how we show love in my family) or even the actual release of tears (God forbid), I've made it my mission in 2009 to make sure that if you're on the "loved ones" list, you know it. That way there's no question that I may ask you for money in the immediate future and you really should at least consider it...
And lastly, we have:
4. Thou shalt let go of fear to make big changes.
I pretty much *have* to make this one happen because 1) it's basically redundant of my "be less stressed" resolution, and 2) this year holds promise of very big changes already. I plan on selling my house, car and most of my belongings to head to Europe to make a go of it! Before you get worried (since I haven't mastered my other resolutions yet), yes, I'll be living with a native--my wonderful boyfriend, Davy. I've always said that I'd love to travel, and since I'm not married and have no kids (which makes me practically invisible-at family functions at least), I can skulk about Europe pretending to be fabulous while hoping I filled out my paperwork properly.
With all the change ahead this year--with a new President (hallelujah!), my mom's cancer (hopefully) at bay, and having truly fallen in love for what feels like the first time in my life--I think above all the other resolutions, this last one is especially dear to my heart. After stepping out of fear, I'll be able to actually get out there and, oh I don't know...experience! live! maybe even skip! (Ok, I'll try not to get that carried away.)
So, 2009: I'm ready!
Wait...where's my pen...?
No comments:
Post a Comment